My eyes darted to the ticking clock. It was 15 minutes past 3 and I’m still widely awake. I let out a heavy sigh and suddenly the grip of harry’s arm on my waist tighten. “Why are you still awake babe?” He mumbles. I turn my head to face his sleepy face. The street light gleaming through the window was enough for me to examine his pretty face.He looks goddess in his tousled bed hair. He pulled a sleepy cheeky smirk. “I can’t seem to find the answer Harry” i mumbled, brushing my knuckles down his cheek. He took my hand and kissed my knuckles. His gaze never left mine. although the light was dim, i could still see his green eyes gleaming. “Turn around” he said. I do as i told and he dragged me closer that i can feel his chest against my back. I giggled “So you are going to spoon me until i fall asleep eh?” I asked with my sardonic tone. “Baby i’ll serenade you” he mutter. “Nobody ever serenade me before” i mumbled. He bury his face in the back of my neck and tighten his grip around my waist “I’m happy that i’ll be the first” his warm breathe on the back of my neck sent shivers down my spine. He brushed my hair from my neck with his deft fingers and kissed the back of my ears down to my neck. I can’t help but moan. That cocaine lips knows my body so well. “Perhaps i don’t have to sleep.” turning my head to his face “we can do something amusing” i bit my lips as i stared at his emerald green eyes. his mouth was partly opened. he shook his head and squeeze his eyes. “no babe, we have a long day tomorrow and you’ll have migraine of you don’t get enough sleep” i pursed my lips sulkily. Then again, we do have a long day tomorrow. “Now lay your metal hard head on the pillow” he murmur. Patting the pillow i laid to. I rolled my eyes and do as i told. “Princess is waiting to be serenade here.” I said with my sardonic tone. He chuckled and bring his mouth nearer to my ear. He started to sing Little Things. His voice was husky and mellow. His fingers was stroking my arm up and down. I felt serene, safe and peaceful. In the arm of the man i love with his heat radiating my body. I bury my head deeper in his arm. My eyes felt heavy due to the sweet melody blending with his melodious husky voice vibrating right by my ear. “.. I know you’ve never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile you never love your -” Mindlessly i was lost, in the sweetness of the aria and i drifted to my sleep. “I’m in love with you, and all your little things”
This is the first time i am writing this and i don’t think i’ll update frequently. Today i learned so much. How it is to feel like your life is already planned. Your job, what course you’ll be studying and who are you going to marry. I am not the person i referred to. My friend Izzah told me that her parents planned her to study in medicine and work in Ireland. Syake said that her parents planned her marriage and she will married in the early age of 20. The worst part is, they accepted it without refusing. Why didn’t they refuse? Why didn’t they fight back? Or i am the only creature who think that those aren’t normal? I am well known as the kid who never listen. Since i was a child. I have a bigger plan for myself. I wont be a doctor or anything that keep you cage all day in a white room with white coat. Those are bullshit. I want to travel the world, learn other people’s culture and feel the love. That feel when you step in somewhere you never been before and thinking “Allah, what a beautiful and massive world you created” dad used to tell me not to choose science stream but back then i wanted to be a scientist and apparently i have no other choice. I don’t want account and i can’t draw. Atleast if i am in science stream i can still try. Dad wanted me to be a doctor, so is mom but not my stepmom. She supports me in anything. The worst part is dad wants me to finish my study here in this dirty country and in the university not far from my home. Dear god, enough i was kept in cage for decade and a half and i can’t imagine spending another 10 years here. I want to be free. I am only planner to stay for another 4/3 years then i am gone. I’ll finish my national exam and A level in that 4 years then i’ll send my A level result to UCL for study in journalism. I am looking forward to be 5’7 tall and be a part time model because i need money to pay my college fees and i need to be pretty, free of fussy hair on my body and free from scars and dark spot on my knee and armpit and eczema and wanna be thin. I want to that. I want my hair and eyes to be light brown color. Idk man i am insane but i believe in Allah. “Kun faya kun” if he wants it to happens then let it be. I never believe in anybody, i only believe in god. Only god. Im not really religious but the feeling that born inside me that only let me believe in god. Also those arent the only things i learned today. I learned how rude a person can be towards the women who sacrifice 9months of her life to carry her around in her stomach and spent 20 minutes fighting with death and pain to deliver her to the beautiful world. Her mom bought her scooter and she was so happy then her mom refuse to let her drives that to school tomorrow. She yelled at her mother. Ya Allah. She is very rich and ungrateful. If i compared my life with her, i am much more poor but i am grateful of what i have. God. I’ll continue later, i have tuition. Bye
The moon flashes as the melody of the music starts. God why do i love the moon so much? It’s hard to ignore the beauty of it like ignoring the beauty if his smile. It was full moon last year, pretty much this time of the year i fell in love. Again. But this one is different because he is just.. Amazing creature god created. His eyes is always shinning like the full moon and the perfect curves of his lips when he smile is just like the curve of the moon. It is different this year. The same moon but not us. The same shines but not feels. Irony is that the memories we created never fades like the moon. Tears streams down my face as i evoke the memories of us. The laughter, sadness and the hardship we been through together. Soon i will forget the colour of your eyes and you will forget mine. I started to forget the way you look at me and how the butterflies in my tummy starts to dancing as you flashed your light brown eyes to me. This is life and we must accept that what come must go and if i love you, i must let you go.